Update on Retired Wizard Defense
The game is nearing completion, but sadly it won’t be ready for release by the end of the month. Expect it soon, but not in July.
We tried discussing the prospect of pants with the goblins, but it didn’t go over too well and now they’re on strike. 
I cant wait to see how it turns out.
neither can I.
You don’t ASK the goblins! Never deal with goblins, they’re the worst. If you want them to wear pants, wait until they fall asleep, and superglue some jeans on.
Grey280- I don’t think they asked the goblins. I think Lisa is talking about the rest of HI. FAIL…
just kiddin man. 
Anyways, why do you guys care about the pants? Their goblins for cryin out loud! Just give em a loin cloth or somethin.
4th!
Awsome good thing that it’s being released at the end of the month,by then my computer will be fix!(I’ve been using my DSI.)
You have to use MEAT! Gosh darnit, HI! Now you did it wrong, and they won’t listen to you…
Looks you’re going to have to play the Elegy Of Pantitude if you’re going to convince them now…
(Will there be bosses and enemies BESIDES goblins?)
OMG I WONT TO PLAY THIS… but i guess i can Waite…
now for the roaming tower defense game, that’s a different story… that looks like a GG (grate game)i need to play that one soon…
i wanna play both!
though i wanna blay BT3 more and shifty less
oh well, I can wait as long as it can take, if I waited one year for Starcraft 2 I can a couple weeks for this game. Still I can’t wait!
No one can wait.
I can
By the way, Starcraft 2 is AWESOME. We got the whole Hero office a copy!
^Off Topic
I’m upset with Blizzard, because in the first Starcraft they have this local area network so that you can play with other people in your home. And you only need one disk, but in Starcraft 2 the only way to play with people in your house is the battle-net, and you need one disk per player, I wanted to play it with three of my brothers. That means we need to buy three disks and that’s over $180.
Hey Jared why don’t you tell me whats it like, and I want to know what your favorite team is, mine is Zerg.
so many new games^^
Jared loves going Zerg, but my Protoss Photon Cannon Offense is to much for him to overcome!
What is StarCraft anyways?
What! You don’t know what starcraft is. (well,I guess I can’t say anything about that `cause I’ve never played it.)
Papaya thinks Starcraft is for NERDS!!!!!!!
Starcraft is not for nerds! Are you calling Jared a nerd!?!?!?!
Again, I need to kno what it is to understand if it’s true that it’s for nerds or not. I would kno since my bro works for IGN.
Starcraft is TOTALLY for nerds.
I kinda wish Stephanie was back. I have to admit, she DID spice up the blog a little.
And it wasn’t as hectic as it is now.
And blog posts were more common….
We are going to get a lot more blog posts up on here soon, bear with us!
oogaooga is sad cuz peeps continue to annoy Jared and other HI memberz with spammy comments.
oogaooga believes that when Jared is mad, he takes awayz blogz.
oogaooga shall help the cause to stop Spammy Comments (SC).
oogaooga wantz to kno what StarCraft is.
oogaooga can’t wait to drop things on silly little goblins.
I’m with you Jared!
Uhh, me too?
Now, to start some off-topicness. Which is better, Coke, Pepsi, or Dr. Pepper?
(Just kidding. Everyone knows Dr. Pepper savagely kills all other soft drinks.)
If I wanted to have cough syrup I would have cough syrup. Coke.
How could you insult the God of sodas like that? Blasphemy on your poor soul.
THIS.
BLOG.
IS.
DEAD.
Poor thing how they don’t know what pants they are gonna use.
:((
STAY on topic, HI made it so we can not post on shifty, so lets just go back to retired wizard defense.
(Shifty didn’t sound too good of a game, in all honesty.)
If you want goblins to wear pants, all you need to do is staple the pants to them. Simple. And they even have guns that shoot staples, so you don’t have to get up close and personal.
And Papaya is right. This blog has severely lost popularity since the release of BTA.
You never can please anyone these days, can you?
Goon your right about Papaya being right, this blog is Dead
Very Dead.
oh come ON!!!
SEIRIOUSLY!!!
i WOULD have expected it by the time you put up
this post!!
man armorgames also hasntput up a lot of games
either!!!!!!!
….sorry just a little mad,but i was a little
serious.
See, the thing is, HI likes to wait until the very last possible day to release games. They have done so with almost all of their games (but, amazingly, some have been on time).
To be mad at RWD’s release date NOW is like being mad at the sky because it is blue.
I learned that life is all about cruelties and disasters. Sure, there may be good times with friends and family, but between that it is all just a hectic maelstrom.
/Expect BT3 by December or January. Possibly next summer at most. I would be extremely astonished if they actually released it in Fall.\
goon
THATS my theory, that HI releases everything on the last possible day of the month or the next month and they usually say that it will be released that month on the first day of the month and then released next month. why wont they do what they say they will do?
Sometimes they do. Mostimes they don’t.
Only on full moons will they release games on time. Of course, BTA was released on a Half Moon, but that’s because of the many “date kick-backs”.
Pixel was perfect. Right on the Full Moon. Don’t believe me? Ask this guy. *points to the hooded figure next to him*
With BT3, they haven’t exactly specified the release date yet, so the Full Moon could come any day.
hmmm, it would be very weird if it comes out on saturday
Why are everyone talking about this game releasing on the full moon?
Wow no post for two days (besides me).
Put some pants on those goblins before the childrens eyes burn out.
Do it nao!
wow that sure looks exciting
who cares about pants you now what, im going to go of toppic this guy *points at hooded guy* he says that this game will be released on a half moon
oogaooga says dat it will be released when it’s realeased!
oogaooga is JENIUS…
oogaooga will talk some sense into Goon.
oogaooga explains to Goon dat HE is da one who is causing off-topicnesses for a majority of the time.
oogaooga has proof- “Now, to start some off-topicness. Which is better, Coke, Pepsi, or Dr. Pepper?”
oogaooga has shown Goon what he is doin wrong and hopes dat he understands.
oogaooga (again) asks what StarCraft is.
There you go starting off-topicness with StarCraft.
oogaooga seriously just wants to kno what StarCraft is!
This is StarCraft II. Read the article if you’re curious.
I want roaming fortress to come out sooooo badly who agrees with me. infact post a comment on which game you want to have come out next.
why is goon having all these fights?
The real question is: Why aren’t YOU fighting?
But no, I’m just kidding. I guess people just hate me.
What? Nah, I can live with that. I’ve had to deal with worse things. Much worse things.
ok
no comments this morning?
no comments today?
Nope, everyone comments on the two newest posts.
at Frubban
i joined The War
COME ON, WEN WILL IT BE OUT
…
off topic, whats better Coke or Pepsi
i vote Pepsi
Dr Pepper.
Dr. Pepper savagely kills any and ALL sodas.
“Trust me, I’m a doctor!!” -Cherry Dr. Pepper commercial featuring The Metal Band That Shall Not Be Named
july was like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaageeeeeeeeeeees ago…
Yeah, I feel HI is just sitting on their finished games and teasing us on purpose.
What in the world happened to that close-to-right-after-July release date?
Hero Interactive, we could really use an update right now, especially a BT3 update.
“BT3…scheduled to be released in Fall 2010…”
B.
S.
@Goon
True that.
More like 2011 or 2012 or 2057 or NEVER (like it was with that Tailgate Toss game or whatever it was called).
hey lets start posting joks…
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
It’s the bank.
Bank who?
You haven’t payed your mortgage in 5 months, sir.
Mortgage who?
The one you’re SUPPOSED to pay to keep your house.
House who?
The house we’re seizing.
Who?
Get out.
Why is six scared of seven?
Because seven eight nine.
If you laughed at that, you fail.
lol zinthows posts make me laugh…Aaaaaah im so tired. I was waiting all night staring at the screen for the game to come out…jk i was pretending to sleep…Did I mention I actr high when I’m tired?
Don’t do drugs kids. You’ll regret that. Trust me.
@goon
uh oh…
LOL hope you roflol for this one…
If you have ever used an electric fence or know someone who has one you
should read this.
If you don’t laugh hysterically at this,….CHECK YOUR PULSE…this is
funny….and true.
I have the standard 6 ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I
heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make
sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single
wire along the top of the fence.
Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 26
miles of fence. I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod, and drove it 7.5 feet
into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the
ground, the better the fence works.
One day I’m mowing the back yard with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6 hp big wheel push
mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact
that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached
down to grab it, to throw it out of the way.
It seems as though I hadn’t remembered to unplug it after all.
Now I’m standing there, I’ve got the running lawnmower in my right hand and
the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is
about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow
on fire on the cover.
Time stood still.
The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of
my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition
firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled
over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the
engine.
It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of shit lawnmower were
fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.
Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to
differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3
different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel
movement, where time is creeping along and you’re all leaned back and BAM
BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes
in between but in reality it was so close together, it was like exhaust
pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand.
At this point I’m about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the
fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can’t let go.
I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences … but Dad always
had those piece of shit chargers made by International or whoever that were
like 9 volts and just kinda tickled.
This one I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting
signals from me through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil. At this
point I’m thinking I’m going to have to just man up and take it, until the
lawnmower runs out of gas.
‘Damn!,’ I think, as I remember I just filled the tank!
Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run
pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in
poop, pee, and with my vomit on my chest I think ‘Oh God please die ….
Pleeeeaze die’. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely
and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go
command from its owner’s right foot.
So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in
my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day…. he
left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own
stupidity had created.
I honestly don’t know how I got loose from the wire ….
I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out
of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned.
There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then
another long skinny dead spot where the wire had laid while I was on the
ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the
resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire.
Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things:
1 – Three of the fillings in my teeth have melted.
2 – I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not
the left, just the right).
3 – Poop, pee, and vomit when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you
might think.
4 – My left eye will not open.
5 – My right eye will not close.
6 – The lawnmower runs like a sumbitch now. Seriously! I think our little
session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better
than new after that.
7 – My nuts are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long.
8 – I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the
number 4 (still don’t understand this???).
That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things. I
appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make
sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.
The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can
clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me
a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check
before I mow.
^^EPIC FAIL^^
its impossible to:
fart
sneeze
hic-cup
pee
poo
cough
and pass a kidney stone all at the same time
like my joke… well post more for more
hello… anyone here
…
…
…
is anyone still out there? i need to know i am not the last living thing in a post apocalyptic world…
…
i see life! (points to Parasite on a hill in a desert wastland) hello do you know if there is anyone elts here?
I don’t know, I am just taking a walk then I am going back to my home world.
Unfortunately, my SHOOP DA WHOOP lazor accidentally misfired and wiped out nearly all life on Earth, sparing the HI building, and all commentors and members.
So…yeah, post-apocalyptic world.
ha… my home was missed… (some how) so in the midle of nowere there is my home… and HI people
“Goon where did you get that technology?” said I.
Shoop da Whoop
equals
Epic World-ending FAIL!
Seriously Zinthow, next time, no cussing or swearing, and lose any “below the belt” references.
The that amount of pain is hilarious, however.
@silent shadow
sorry about that… it was not rellly my joke, i fond it and posted it here… btw how long is a “coming soon” going to be, like it was cooming soon last month, HI BRING IT OUT ALLREDY
I CREATED Shoop Da Whoop! Mwahahaha!
And yeah Zinthow, some of the words on that post slightly exceeded the PG-13 mark.
But I’ve seen worse.
Hilarious nontheless.
WHEN’S IT COMING OUT ALREADY?!?!?
…
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when…
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will…
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it…
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be…
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out…
Yeah…it’s almost September…HI is failing to supply…
From me to you: Plz hurry!
i bet you HI forgot about this game, if its not out buy the time it become september, then HI dose not care about us. searilusly, HI said it wood be out in july! nd now its allmost september. do you relly think that if they cared about us that they wood AT LEAST give us an update, realy…
And instead of giving us updates, they hand us comics.
COMICS.
I can only fear for the worst for this successful-looking company…
i know!
wll anyway HI if you dont do somthing FAST you might lose some fans…